The Walls are Closing In...and Needless to Say, the Feng Shui is Just AWFUL

Now that I have started venting about my pent-up-ness, I just can't stem the flow.  I am wondering why I wasn't able to share my experiences of boomeranging back into my parents house with my family in-tow, although sharing would probably have been one fantastic way to blow a little hole in the walls that are stifling my mo-jo...a hole into the vast, wide open internet wilderness....a world outside my "four walls."

I guess I am embarrassed to be home again.  They say you never can go back home again, and I can say that that is not entirely true.  We are living to tell about it--certainly surviving, if not completely thriving.  I am just rather stifled.  All of my earthly possessions that aren't in storage....and all of my familiar animals and people (they wouldn't let us keep the kids in storage)...are stuffed into the four walls of my childhood bedroom.  And, for anyone out there who doesn't believe that clutter and room arrangement factor into one's happiness and productivity, I beg to differ: I am the pathetic living proof of a disastrous feng shui-busting experiment...merely a hollow shell of my formerly creative self ;-)

To add to my feelings of stagnation and isolation, I rarely have occasion leave the house, I have no work-work at the moment, Alyssa is back to school, Brooke is in that phase where she wants to read the same four board books all day long, and it's hurricane season, which this year equals rain every day...all day.

Surprisingly, I'm not at all depressed, though I'm sure my writing makes it sound that way.  I'm just all hemmed in, bursting at the seams with ideas that I don't have room for right now.  And, the thing is, it's not just the seasonal rain that's keeping us trapped indoors, or my very literal current cramped living conditions that are closing in and stifling me, it is my phase of life as the mother of a nappy, teething, tantrumy, not-so-fit-for-public, less-than-mobile toddler.  And I say that with all of the love in the world for Brooke who is at an incredibly lovely, fun stage...and with the time-tested knowledge that she, like Alyssa, will too quickly grow up!  It is a crazy phase of life for me, and one that I seemly fully understand while not being able to figure out.

Is anyone out there feeling this way?  If you understood that sentence about fully-understanding-while-not-being-able-to-figure-out sentence, I will be ever-so pleased...very deep.  How do you stay liberated when you stay home?  How does the caged bird sing?

Whoa, that's heavy.