I Just Posted, and the Immediate AdSense Ad Was About Depression Symptoms

How do they do that?

I typed something about rocking oneself in the fetal position in a darkened room and BAM! there is an ad about depression symptoms.  Well done, Google!

Where Does the Time Go?

It makes me laugh a little (not out loud, but very barely audibly on the inside) when I recall my last post: I was informing you that the packing and moving were completed and we were moving in with my parents, which I apparently thought would be:
a. funny
b. inspiring
c. time-freeing.





In reality, I spent about the first two weeks here teetering between migraine-inducing rage and the kind of hopelessness that makes you want to curl up into the fetal position in a dark room for hours upon hours.  It is true, as it turns out, that you cannot go home again...ESPECIALLY not with your two kids and two dogs and one ADHD husband.

My stepdad, Mike, is ADHD, like Greg.  He is very particular about his habits, schedule, and things, like Greg.  He is very quick to anger, like Greg.  Put the two of them in the same house, let alone the same kitchen, and you can only imagine the horrors.  Or maybe you can't.  It is still totally un-funny to me at the moment, as I'm still here living the nightmare until at least October 18th.

If I can think of some slightly entertaining...hopefully funny and lighthearted...way of exemplifying the insanity, I will.  At this point, all I can muster up is a list of current points of contention:
-dogs using the garden as a bathroom
-dogs using the house as a bathroom
-my dogs eating a food with grains in it
-incorrect dosage of dog incontinence pills
-incorrect dosage of earache medication
-incorrect usage of anti-nausea pill for t-storm tranquilizer pill resulting in dog's destructive psychotic episode
-parking vehicles nose-in
-using the bathroom scale
-using the remote control
-using the other remote control
-using the salsa
-using the cast iron pots
-using soap on said pots
-feeding the diabetic cat dry food
-not mixing in the dogs' wet food
-softball on Monday
-softball on Wednesday
-patio cushions out in rain
-dishwasher loading
-amounts of laundry detergent
-timeliness of washing pots and pans
-Brooke and the steps
-dogs and the front yard
-dogs and hiking
-logging off of the computer
-dripping faucet
-cracking driveway
-fountain care schedule
-the Furminator
-how many beans one should eat in a day
-how much oil one should use to cook things
-timeliness of drying cast iron
-location of kitchen utensils
-sugar intake of children

Ad nauseum.

I Didn't Want to Tell You This... BOOMERANG!

You all listened patiently (I assume) to my musings about having a house for sale.  I believe that I mentioned that, due to my psychotic, frenetic cleaning and staging behaviors (and perhaps among other minor factors as well), the house sold.  Well, readers, settlement is nearly upon us.  This is my last Saturday here, as settlement occurs next Friday morning.

Usually, the bummer of moving out of your home is buoyed by the excitement of moving into your next one.  Desafortunamente (that's Spanish for unfortunately, and I much prefer its ring), this is not the case for us.  The bummer of moving out of this house that we have loved...the one that Alyssa has gone to her first days of school from...the one that we brought baby Brooke home from the hospital to...  *wow--my inner English major is freaking out at the prepositional mayhem of those last sentences!* is actually compounded by the fact that we will be moving into my old room at my parents.

We.  As in me, Greg, Alyssa, Brooke, Ringo, and Hemi.  As in, all six of us and all of our beds and clothing and stuff.  We are all boomeranging back into my childhood bedroom.  At my parents home.  With my parents.  Both of them.  And all of their beds and furniture and clothes and stuff.  And all of their cat and three dogs that don't like our dogs...and subsequently, gnaw on them and urinate all over the house in retaliation of their imposition.

So, four adults, two children, five dogs, and cat will be roomies.  Cozy, right?  Well, this arrangement seemed like a feasible idea--never an easy one, but a doable one--when it was supposed to last for a mere six weeks.  Guess what?  Our new home's completion date has been rescheduled from late August to OCTOBER!!!  We are looking at three months, "best case scenario, with no weather delays," a la our realtor.

My poor, poor parents.  Poor doggies-mine, who will be used as chew toys by their petulant doggie "aunties."  Poor, poor, pitiful me!!

On the upside, this should make for excellent blog fodder, and I may even have time to post to my blog for the duration, as my friend  will be back from her maternity leave to attend to the accounts that I have been doing in her absence :-)

I'm cleaning out the old room this evening...  Since I left it twelve years ago, it has been used as:
-a garbage dump
-a playroom
-a craft room
-a knitting room
-a sewing room
-a nursery
-a spare bedroom
-a nursery again
-"Lila's" clothing boutique, per Alyssa
-an art studio
-a workout room
-a yoga dojo
-a reading room
-a man nest
-a decrepit furniture storage area
-collectible showroom
-photo shop
-framer's gallery
-pressed flower emporium
...dot, dot, dot.... (which so reminds me of the Bachelorette and smarmy Bentley).

Tune in to find out what I found up there...as the latest saga begins!

Pony Camp--Super Yankee the Wonder Pony Saves Momglomerate!

Ever since summer vacation started Alyssa has been looking forward to attending Pony Camp.  First, she was begging permission, then she was begging for the money, and then she was begging for new clothes, tack, and accessories "needed" for said adventure...

Well, permission granted, money saved and paid, equipment procured, cleaned, labeled, and packed--

People, this was no small feat!  Pony camp, for those of you who are uninitiated, involves sending your child AND YOUR CHILD'S (whole!) PONY to a stable for the duration.  So, not only did I have to pack up all of Alyssa's gear, we had to pack up all of Yankee the Wonder Pony's gear as well, and schlep it all to parts unknown.

Let me break it down for you.


Normal: Lunch, snacks, and drinks for child in cooler.
Us:  Lunch, snacks, and drinks for child in cooler.  Several 50 pound bales of hay, about 5 pounds of feed, two buckets, and a bulk bag of carrots in a wheelbarrow for pony.

Normal: A change of clothes and maybe a swimsuit for child in a backpack. 
Us:  Boots, jodphurs, half-chaps, tall socks, t-shirt, helmet, gloves, protective vest and a change of clothes in a backpack.  Halter, leadrope, flymask, bridle, grassreins, grabstrap, saddle, girth, two pads, bump pad, and crop for pony.

Normal: A few books and toys for child in above mentioned backpack.
Us: A few books and toys for child in backpack.  Brushes, flyspray, hoofoil, suntan lotion, diaper cream, and gear for pony.

Normal:  Child and backpack ride in a passenger car to camp.
Us:  Child rides in backseat of 3/4 ton pickup.  Gear rides in the bed of pickup.  Pony rides in a horse trailer to camp.

Let's just say this: normal didn't go to pony camp this week!

But...on the upside, Yankee the Wonder Pony has been babysitting Alyssa all week at said camp, so I actually got to write this mini-post :-)  BLESS you Yankee the Wonder Pony!