For Kateri: Another Public Potty Misadventure (...You Guys Can Read It Too)

So, about three months ago, I went antiquing with my mom.  I found myself in desperate need of a bathroom (soda induced pee emergency, thankfully), while she was desperately in love with an old glass buoy and net...  I wanted to leave the store and book it home, but she loved this thing, and she was determined to find out how much it cost and hopefully purchase it.  The shop owners were busy ringing out and helping other customers, so I faced the music, handed Brooke to my mom, and went in search of the antique shop's quaint little antique bathroom.

And not to be disappointed!  This public bathroom was pretty cute and super-old, tucked into the space beneath the stairs.  It had a decrepit, miniature toilet--the kind with the (unsanitary) wooden seat--and a the tiniest porcelain sink that I'd ever seen.  The room also featured hand-stenciling along the top of its bead-boarded walls.

I used the bathroom (#1 only) and used a modest amount of t.p. 

I flushed.

The water in the toilet rose...AND ROSE....AND ROSE...and toilet paper shreds began to explode from the drain of the toilet like sewage seaweed.  PANIC!!  Nightmare!!  The water began to overflow the toilet bowl and cascade onto the floor!  A noisy waterfall of filthy torrents!

In a state of shock, I reached my bare hand into the toilet--I didn't know what else to do and was spazzing--and grabbed this huge wad of sodden t.p. that the toilet drain had regurgitated...  I threw it into the trash...  I tried opening the back of the toilet and jiggling the mechanisms.  After what seemed like an eternity, the toilet finally ceased its geyser impression, but the damage was done.  The whole ENTIRE floor was covered in toilet water.

I used paper towels and t.p. to try to sop up the mess and got the whole place reasonably clean--if you consider toilet water to be an acceptable cleaning agent, I guess.  Upon closer inspection, as I dried it, I noticed that the flooring appeared to be water-damaged and warped.

I can only hope that this indicates that I'm not the first person to flood the bathroom!!

Humilated and with skin damp with toilet water, I left the bathroom, my dignity shredded like the toilet paper that gurgled out of the toilet.  As I said, the evil potty had ceased its attack.  The floor was reasonably dry.  I am ashamed to admit that I didn't notify the gentleman who seemed to own the store of my mishap, but I was just too mortified. My mom bought the antique buoy...so at least one of us did something positive for the store during our visit to make up for my inadvertent vandalization...

When we got to the car, I scrubbed my hands with antibacterial gel and baby wipes out, out darned spot-style.  YUUUCK...  I still feel dirty.  Stupid old toilet!  (One time when you definitely don't appreciate an antique, right?)