Someone call Dr. Phil--and Debi Pearl--STAT!
All moms work 24/7, whether they stay at home or have jobs outside of the home. It is, I'd wager, the hardest job and also the most rewarding. (I feel more like Oprah, right now, than Debi or Phil....but O.W. is off the air, and therefore, no longer able to assist me.)
It logically follows that, since I'm a mom, I, too, am working around the clock for my family in one way or another. What I do has value. It is not easy raising kids well, especially if they are BROOKE. I have little to no "down time." Why is it then, that I have been applying for jobs lately?
Count 'em: I have applied for two transcribing jobs, one editing job (for an erotic novel, no less!), and one job as a part-time support instructor at Alyssa's school. (All over the proverbial map, no?) It should be noted that I have heard nothing back from any, but still... I'm basically applying for positions that I cannot possibly fill. Who is going to wrangle Brooke-the-destroyer while I'm working? Who will drop off and pick up Alyssa...and volunteer in her classroom in between?
The sickest part is that I'm disappointed that I'm not getting calls for these jobs, even though I'd be in serious trouble if I did get a call back for an interview. What is wrong with me???
I clearly have a raging guilt-complex about staying home and thusly not "contributing" to the family funds, that's what's freaking wrong with me! I value the hard work of all mothers...unless that mother is me, it would seem... :-( I'm losing my marbles, here.
Does anyone else make a hobby of applying for jobs that are untenable? Is there a scientific name for this sickness yet? How many steps away am I from making up a 22-year-old, Harvard-educated, double D, single, childless pseudo-me on eHarmony and fake dating?
It is a slippery slope. S C A R Y.
Awww! That's an awful place to be in.
ReplyDeleteI understand the feeling.
I was there, and eventually I went back to work.
But, I wasn't doing the two OTHER jobs you have!
I imagine daycare isn't an option for Brooke.. But, if you really wanted to go back to work, even if it were part time... Maybe a little daycare could be good! It does help them gain social cues and learn how to deal with their peers....
As far as I can tell there isn't a name for this illness... but it can be saddled under the MOTHERHOOD ILLNESS.
You know which has the symptoms of:
* profuse cleaning, that never ends
* drool stained clothing
* A dire need to do 3 loads of laundry minimum a day!
* Hair that only gets tamed if you are going out into public... that you care about.
* Little Sleep
* Split personality (from being good cop, bad cop, the loving mother, and sometimes the tooth fairy, santa, easter bunny, etc.)
* ETC.