A Follow-Up to Previous Post (Anti Christmas Gift B-Word)--Yes, It's Long, But You Need to Read This....After All, WE All Did...

The following is a (circular and random) open e-mail chain to-and-from my family members regarding our annual Christmas debate: to gift or not to gift.  What an stupid question?  We all find it very amusing now that we are finished writing it...and have decided, heretoforth, to agree to disagree on the topic.  

For your entertainment and enlightenment...  (As our non-Chinese, local, charitable gift to you, please feel free to cut/paste any of our more acerbic zingers into your own emails on this topic~ we know you're writing them too!  'Tis the season...)

 

And So It Begins....

From: Beth 

Hi Jane ~

I was wondering if you have heard anything from your kids about what they would like to do about Christmas gift giving.  I was going to send this out to all, but thought best of that thinking you and I should be the "decidinators" . .. What do you think should be the protocol for gifts-giving this year?  Or should we not do gifts and just treat Christmas as a great time to get together and share our time - kinda like thanksgiving, but on Dec, 25th?  Let's keep an open dialogue...

On Nov 26, 2011, at 12:51 PM, Beth wrote:

Hi Everyone ~

Does ANYONE have any ideas/thoughts on Christmas gift giving this year?  Should we forgo gifts altogether and and just spend time together?  I am at a loss . . . 

Hugs and love to all,

Crazy Beth

A TIME FOR NEW TRADITIONS?

As the holidays approach, the giant Asian factories are kicking into high gear to provide Americans with monstrous piles of cheaply produced goods - merchandise that has been produced at the expense of American labor. This year will be different. This year Americans will give the gift of genuine concern for other Americans.
There is no longer an excuse that, at gift giving time, nothing can be found that is produced by American hands. Yes there is!

It's time to think outside the box, people. Who says a gift needs to fit in a shirt box, wrapped in Chinese produced wrapping paper? (Even most Hallmark products are made in China). Everyone -- yes EVERYONE gets their hair cut. How about gift certificate from your local American hair salon or barber? Gym membership?
It's appropriate for all ages who are thinking about some health improvement.

Who wouldn't appreciate getting their car detailed? Small, American owned detail shops and car washes would love to sell you a gift certificate or a book of gift certificates.

Are you one of those extravagant givers who think nothing of plonking down
the Benjamines on a Chinese made flat-screen?
Perhaps that grateful gift receiver would like his driveway sealed, or lawn
mowed for the summer, or driveway plowed all
winter, or games at the local golf course.

There are a bazillion owner-run restaurants -- all offering gift
certificates. And, if your intended isn't the fancy eatery
sort, what about a half dozen breakfasts at the local breakfast joint.
Remember, folks this isn't about big National chains --
this is about supporting your home town Americans with their financial lives
on the line to keep their doors open.

How many people couldn't use an oil change for their car, truck or
motorcycle, done at a shop run by the American working guy?

How about the services of a local cleaning lady for a day?

My computer could use a tune-up, and I KNOW I can find some young guy who is
struggling to get his repair business up and
running.

OK, you were looking for something more personal. Local crafts people spin
their own wool and knit them into scarves. They make jewelry, and pottery and 

beautiful wooden boxes.

Plan your holiday outings at local, owner operated restaurants and leave
your server a nice tip. And, how about going out to
see a play or ballet at your hometown theatre.

Musicians need love too, so find a venue showcasing local bands.

Honestly, people, do you REALLY need to buy another ten thousand Chinese
lights for the house? When you buy a five dollar
string of light, about fifty cents stays in the community (not 50%, but 50 cents). 

If you have those kinds of bucks to burn, leave the mailman, trash
guy or babysitter a nice BIG tip.

You see, Christmas is no longer about draining American pockets so that
China can build another glittering city. Christmas is
now about caring about US, encouraging American small businesses to keep
plugging away to follow their dreams. And, when we
care about other Americans, we care about our communities, and the benefits
come back to us in ways we couldn't imagine.

THIS is the new American Christmas tradition.

From: Jane  Subject: Re: Christmas 2011

OK, sorry I didn't get back to you right away Beth.   What I honestly think about Christmas, is it's nice to give at least one gift to each other, (did i really say that???) whether it be big or small, and that really doesn't matter because it's just an expression of love in the giving itself, not the size of the gift (even if it's zero size, i think i meant to say!).  Everyone has different financial constraints.   Whether the giver is an individual or a family, that doesn't matter either.  But I personally don't think I could handle a Christmas without the ritual of gifts, unwrapping, and pets sitting in all the paper and ribbon mess.

However, having said that,  I personally don't need anything, and would be most happy to follow the basic tenets of the "new American Christmas" tradition (attached below for the edification of those unfamiliar with it!).   And I think I'll give along those lines too ... (except for those gifts I already have from "other" places :) ... 

At this point I think we may be having the company of one extra person for Christmas, Cari, dear friend, and daughter of dear friends in Phoenix (her dad was who i went to see just before he passed away about 3 years ago, if you remember that trip i made).   Do you think you could handle an extra at your house?   I will provide appropriately.   If not, then she'll just have to sit up at our house while we're at yours.   

Sorry if my views are disagreeable with everyone else, but you asked.   Hopefully I wont be the only one to weigh in now ... HINT HINT!

love, jane xx

From: Jenna

i would not be upset if there were no gifts (except for the little ones of course).  Alex will be joining me....  we just like sitting by the fire and eating with everyone  :)

On Nov 27, 2011, at 9:35 PM, Aubrey wrote:

Wellll, since we are being honest, everyone knows that I am a Scroogey anti-Christmas gift proponent, and our family is amply blessed, and while I love everyone sincerely, I do not necessarily believe that presents given equals or even approximates an expression of love. 

Anti-gifting point 1: I find it hard to come up with personal, meaningful gifts--expensive or otherwise--when we really don't know that much about each others' wants and/or needs...  This is why we, at least, usually end up doing silly, junky Chinese gifts---remember the bacon strip band-aids anyone?

Anti-gifting point 2: For me, the expression of love is in choosing to spend the holiday in each others' company....eating good food, watching silly movies, and the like are "Christmas" to me. 

So, being that we really and truly don't know each other that well, I propose (A) a  practical handmade gift exchange.  This would fit the "American-made Christmas" facet (which I think is awesome) and be budget friendly (because, yes, some of us are definitely definitely on a budget!) and actually show genuine love and care for the recipient of the gift.  (As one of Brooke's books says, "Where is love, Biscuit?' "It's in the soft sweaters Grandma knits especially for us...") Or, I propose (B) a charitable gift or contribution in the honor of gift recipient.

I don't know why, really, we do this email discussion every year, because each of our feelings are essentially the same from year to year, and everyone pretty much does whatever they feel like doing anyway.  I mean this: I don't need anything for Christmas and I can't even think of anything I want for Christmas (except for to stop having this repetitive annual email conversation).  I am disgusted by the consumerism surrounding stupid Black Friday and the whole starts-in-November Christmas shopping season.  People are starving!  People are homeless!   I would like to provide more groceries or clothing donations to local families through the office at Ore Valley or the church.  I feel like a turd for even spending time talking about a gift exchange when I know that right here in York (not to mention the surrounding world) people are hungry and cold right this very second.  It makes me feel dirty.

So, for me, no gifts please.  Or if you feel you must, some boxed food items.  Or, since I feel dirty, maybe some homemade soap.  We could still wrap that stuff in paper and ribbons and thusly tick off the mess for dogs that feels like Christmas for Jane.

Aren't you glad you asked?  ;-)

Love (and respect, even if that isn't coming across in my tirade), 

Apparently Freaking Insane Aubrey

P.S.  It should be noted that every God-blessed one of my families (remember, I go to Greg's mom's, Greg's dad's, Greg's grandma's, the Keffer grandparents, the Keffer parents, and the Yosts'...maybe Naylors?) is having a version of this same debate about gift-giving in a changing world and family climate...  so I very well may be a LOT "over" it.  Multiply holiday shopping list exponentially by 2 for Greg's mom-parents, 6 for Greg's dad-parents/family, 4 for Greg's grandma's pollyannas, 4 for Keffer grandparent pollyannas, 4 for Keffer parents, 8 for Yosts, plus our independent family Christmas, Naylor stocking stuffers times 20 (maybe?).  Sorry for bitching, but bitch or no bitch, the above is my uncensored opinion.

From: Aubrey 

I have an instantaneous bout of sender's remorse.  I know that that was bitchy.  I stand by what I said, but I also want to say: I really do love you all, and if I won the lottery, I would buy a bunch of food for the food pantry AND really amazing presents that you guys would genuinely want!  As it is here in reality, in lieu of the usual Chinese junk that I usually buy to make you laugh, you will probably be receiving a gift that I handmake just for you with love (like the Grandma in the Biscuit book that Brooke loves).  Boy, I do hope you guys like felted soaps!!  Last thing: even though I don't love the gift tradition, I do really love YOU all, and I am very happy to spend Christmas as we do.

So, as the Jamaicans say, "respect mon, all 'de time."

On Nov 27, 2011, at 11:08 PM, Jane wrote:

LOL!  Shame on me!  I must be the most self-centered person in the world!   Not ..... but Aubrey, we definitely come from opposite sides of the fence ... you've got all those families, and all my families are back in Australia.  I guess i like giving at Christmas because it reminds me of what we all did back "home" (minus swimming in the pool after Xmas lunch of course), and ... because i hardly have anyone here to give anything to.  Granted it's therefore much easier for me than for you ... well, as far as giving goes, that is.  

This re-checking every year about what Christmas should look like is indeed a bit unnecessary ... so why don't we just leave it at give what you can, don't give what you can't, shake hands, kiss each other, enjoy dinner together, watch silly movies, get drunk, fall asleep, and so be it.   

So here's to charity, silver nixleys, soaps, knits, golden wait-awhiles, laughter, love, dogs, and recycled paper.  (yay! vindication at last!)

love you too.

jane.

On Nov 28, 2011, at 12:21 AM, Beth wrote:

Let it forever be closed from this day forward :  Yost Family Christmas Gift Exchange shall be "do what you want/can/feel like!!"

THWACK!!   Beth

On Nov 28, 2011, at 12:37 PM, Jane wrote:

Booya!

On Nov 28, 2011, at 11:05 AM, Skyler wrote:
I'm not sure 'Booya!' really fits that situation, deary...

From: Beth 

What actually is "booya"?

On Nov 28, 2011, at 7:15 PM, Jane wrote:

I dunno, but it sounds great when you say it with gusto.  Emphasize the B and the oo and say it as loud as possible ... it's fun!  (Yeah Skyler, what DOES it mean, anyway?)  Jane

From: Skyler 

It's more of an "IN YOUR FACE!" than anything.  It would be appropriate if you were attempting to tell Aubrey "Take that, mofo!", but not if you were trying to say "Well that's the end of that conversation!"  Oh, you oldies.

On Nov 28, 2011, at 6:33 PM, Aubrey wrote:

Now that we have a definition, I'm going to go ahead and decide not to take it as a "take that, mofo" but more of a "well, now that we are all still completely unclear on that and deciding to agree to disagree...TADA!"  I like Crazy Beth's plan to just do whatever the hell we feel like doing every year since that seems to be what we always do anyway.

Love to all,

A.

On Nov 28, 2011, at 6:50 PM, Jane wrote:

Oh, no ... There was definitely no mofo-ing in my booya.  It was more meant as a "well so be it!" or "great! We've  found a solution!"

you youngies are always changing the traditiinal meaning of older words, so why can't us oldies change the (ha ha traditional) meaning of new words (that have no apparent connection with any other known word in the language)?  Booya!  

On Nov 29, 2011, at 10:31 AM, Jenna wrote:

Ahem, I would like to clarify the booya/booyow thing. In America, it is just a silly word for "wham!," "that's right!," or even "in your face mofo!"

But in china, it is actually the word you say to pesky vendors who are desperate for a sale (which is all of them) that means, "I don't want it."  Try it out sometime in a chinatown somewhere. They will both get the picture and be stunned that you spoke Chinese :)

Moral of the story: let's all say booyow to Chinese gifts and hello to the inappropriate Christmas movie of the year. Ideas anyone?

Love, Jenna