Ok. Here's what the research says about my Dr. Sausage-Fingers internal dilemma: While it is possible that "Doctor" Sausage-Fingers has a PhD...as I could obtain a Doctoral degree after a Master's degree in English to become a professor, "Dr. Holler"-style...he is not a Medical Doctor, which makes his "Doctor" nomenclature kind of misleading in his position within the medical field. So, it is likely that Dr. Sausage-Fingers calls himself Dr. Sausage-Fingers in order to command more respect from patients. Maybe he thinks we would think less of him if he called himself Nurse Sausage-Fingers. Maybe he watched the Focker movies and was traumatized by George Burns' treatment of Gaylord "Greg" Focker, the male nurse.
The bottom line: I am no closer to knowing the truth about the state of Doctor Sausage-Fingers doctoriness. Maybe Dr. Sausage Fingers has a PhD--and a right to the title of "Doctor." Or maybe he just prefers the sound of his name with Doctor in front of it. It's a crap shoot.
What do I know for sure? Well, I know that I used the word "maybe" a lot of times in this post. I also know that I would sure like to be "Doctor Holler" someday. Paging Dr. Holler. Are you in Dr. Holler's class this semester? Pause. *Repeating mentally.* That is actually the worst Doctor name ever! Doctor Holler?!...that is like Doctor Pain...or Doctor Love. It's like a bad joke. Students would make a mockery of me (even moreso than poor Nurse Focker).
Life's dreams...up in smoke. Thanks a lot Greg. (Greg Holler, that is. Not Greg Focker.)
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