It has been three days since the start of 2012, and so far, so good!
Reflecting on some scripture and commentary (from my Advent "Blue Book"), I was struck by these words: "So what am I to do? I am free to do what I can do...something, just not everything...I can do something." I often feel stymied by my limited ability to DO anything, as a stay-at-home mom. I want to do something AWESOME, but how with so little free time or extra resources? This commentary seemed to speak to that exact feeling. No, I'm not free to do much at this time. But that doesn't mean that I can't do anything. Even if it's something small, it is still something, and every little bit helps.
On that note, I've been pretty productive here. Mostly I'm trying to determine how to use space at the farm to do the most good. No one wants to hear any of my ideas until they are fully formed, so my mind is basically a whirling chaotic mess! I have written down my ideas in various notebooks and scraps of paper which litter my desk (basically a tangible version of what's going on inside my brain).
My current "master plan" is basically to consolidate the horses in a smaller area that is more centrally located to the houses. The horses all require very little pasture at this point, so moving them to a more confined area would make it easier to manage their weight and easier to care for them in general, as water and electricity are already present*.
(*A big deal, as tonight I spent more than an hour fighting with the hose, which is basically the singular plot or at least the most commonly recurring theme of all of my winters. Eventually, I was forced to give up on the hose, which froze shut immediately after being attached to the carefully winterized faucet. Therefore, I was resigned to clumsily filling and transporting and lugging and pouring a 5-gallon water tank repeatedly from the basement of the barn to the top of the property where the horses currently reside...until it broke, sloshing me with water in the 23 degree night air!)
So, in order to determine whether my "master plan" is at all feasible, I have been collecting estimates from a variety of contractors--excavating, wood construction, metal construction, concrete construction, fencing, etc. If it is allowable by the township, I'd like to fortify and expand a barn that currently exists and replace some decrepit fencing that has been removed.
And...if I already have an excavator leveling a spot for an enlarged barn structure, maybe--just maybe--it would be the right time to level a spot to ride (dare I say it, an "arena")? After all, there is already a flood light lighting the old "riding" area... Oh, to have an arena after all of these years!! A level spot with footing and lights would take my enjoyment of the horses to a new stratosphere.
If the horses were removed from the upper fields to the central spot, by way of my "master plan," less mowing and maintenance would be required in that area. Efficiency: check! We would be able to ride whenever--darkness, rain, freezing weather. Efficiency: check! And, we would have a large acreage of pasture that was not in use. Efficiency: Zero~ especially as we have been mowing it several times during the summer, which is not a blast, and then allowing the cut grass to rot. So...wait for it!...we have a service come to custom bale those pastures, thusly, gaining a supply of hay for our horses at a much-reduced price and also creating a surplus of hay that could be sold or donated (to the SPCA Equine Fund!!) Efficiency: check, check! Not to mention a GREAT BIG SOMETHING for starving horses!
Add that planning and scheming to my ideas for additional fundraising for the SPCA horses--tack sale, sponsorships, market stands, horsey pillows--oh, and my thoughts on a free-range, organic-egg-laying chicken flock--oh, and a non-profit horse sanctuary or foster home--and I'm on a major role! I'M FINALLY DOING SOMETHING...or at least scheming mightily to do something!
But can she keep up this level of spastic mental activity? That remains to be seen...
Photos by Amanda Naylor, PThreePhoto.com
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
Sunday, January 1, 2012
One More New-Year Thing
I was reading my horoscope in the local newspaper. It said something to the effect of: Your work is taking up a lot of your time and emotional energy. If you follow through with your dreams, this could be the year that they come true. I was super-happy to read this. In fact, I cut it out to tape somewhere for inspiration. I can't find it now, as evidenced by my ugly paraphrase above, because Brooke can reach my desk now and robs me of my things and then squirrels them away in or under furniture for me to randomly find later...
As I was searching for the scrap and considering my euphoria at it's initial reading, it occurred to me that it is a really generic horoscope. I mean, isn't it always the case that if you follow through with your dreams, they will come true...for anyone...anywhere...anytime?
Our failings don't occur because the stars didn't align. They occur because we give up on the dream. Or we didn't fully form the dream.
I give up on my "dreams" when my reality doesn't immediately (or eventually) match the dreaminess. I give up if things are hard or if the next step isn't obvious or if I get overwhelmed or if I feel tired or if I'm afraid people will see that I'm not as smart, cool, talented, or capable as I'd had them convinced previously.
My ultimate dream is to do something AWESOME. For the wider world. For my family. For my own sense of self-worth. I want to find fulfilling work. It would be a bonus if that work was gainful (in the financial sense).
As I was searching for the scrap and considering my euphoria at it's initial reading, it occurred to me that it is a really generic horoscope. I mean, isn't it always the case that if you follow through with your dreams, they will come true...for anyone...anywhere...anytime?
Our failings don't occur because the stars didn't align. They occur because we give up on the dream. Or we didn't fully form the dream.
I give up on my "dreams" when my reality doesn't immediately (or eventually) match the dreaminess. I give up if things are hard or if the next step isn't obvious or if I get overwhelmed or if I feel tired or if I'm afraid people will see that I'm not as smart, cool, talented, or capable as I'd had them convinced previously.
My ultimate dream is to do something AWESOME. For the wider world. For my family. For my own sense of self-worth. I want to find fulfilling work. It would be a bonus if that work was gainful (in the financial sense).
2012: Eat, Pray, Love. (Better.)
Eat: I am so thankful for my health. I am aware that I do not deserve to be as thin or as healthy as I am based on my current diet. I need to eat better--you know, as if I love and respect my body. It would also be the best example for healthy, conscientious eating that my daughters will have.
Pray: I believe in God. I am thankful for the Bible; I feel re-energized and re-affirmed by reading it, listening to it, or discussing it. I kind of wish we had a church community that fit us as a family. We haven't been attending a church regularly, and I don't miss our church...I feel guilty, but I don't feel like going back there either. Nevertheless, I would like to spend more time in prayer and meditation and reading the Bible because it makes me happy and content. I become fully aware of my many blessings and overwhelmed with thankfulness. By feeling happy, content, thankful, and blessed, I will be able to better serve others...and maybe meet people to serve as my formal or informal "church." I'd also like to provide more of a faith-full example to my kids.
Love: Our new family motto is, "You are kind. You are smart. You are important." I will tell my family members this. I will make them repeat it to me. I will use my actions to assure that they believe it! I will continue to volunteer at Alyssa's school because it makes her feel special and loved. I will work to be the best wife and mother that I can be, and when I mess up, I will apologize. I will continue to multiply the collective peace and happiness that comes from being a member of our horse-human-canine herd! I will try every day to do something to serve others--no matter how small--donating, volunteering, working for the SPCA Equine Program, researching ways to start my own non-profit venture.
And...I can only hope that if I pour myself into all of this eating, praying, and loving that this will lead to the only thing that I (feel that I) lack--fulfilling work for me that allows me to contribute to our family financially.
Although, they didn't call the book, Eat, Pray, Love, Work, did they? Maybe that's the secret? We shall see. On with the NEW YEAR!
Pray: I believe in God. I am thankful for the Bible; I feel re-energized and re-affirmed by reading it, listening to it, or discussing it. I kind of wish we had a church community that fit us as a family. We haven't been attending a church regularly, and I don't miss our church...I feel guilty, but I don't feel like going back there either. Nevertheless, I would like to spend more time in prayer and meditation and reading the Bible because it makes me happy and content. I become fully aware of my many blessings and overwhelmed with thankfulness. By feeling happy, content, thankful, and blessed, I will be able to better serve others...and maybe meet people to serve as my formal or informal "church." I'd also like to provide more of a faith-full example to my kids.
Love: Our new family motto is, "You are kind. You are smart. You are important." I will tell my family members this. I will make them repeat it to me. I will use my actions to assure that they believe it! I will continue to volunteer at Alyssa's school because it makes her feel special and loved. I will work to be the best wife and mother that I can be, and when I mess up, I will apologize. I will continue to multiply the collective peace and happiness that comes from being a member of our horse-human-canine herd! I will try every day to do something to serve others--no matter how small--donating, volunteering, working for the SPCA Equine Program, researching ways to start my own non-profit venture.
And...I can only hope that if I pour myself into all of this eating, praying, and loving that this will lead to the only thing that I (feel that I) lack--fulfilling work for me that allows me to contribute to our family financially.
Although, they didn't call the book, Eat, Pray, Love, Work, did they? Maybe that's the secret? We shall see. On with the NEW YEAR!
Sunday, December 4, 2011
A Follow-Up to Previous Post (Anti Christmas Gift B-Word)--Yes, It's Long, But You Need to Read This....After All, WE All Did...
The following is a (circular and random) open e-mail chain to-and-from my family members regarding our annual Christmas debate: to gift or not to gift. What an stupid question? We all find it very amusing now that we are finished writing it...and have decided, heretoforth, to agree to disagree on the topic.
For your entertainment and enlightenment... (As our non-Chinese, local, charitable gift to you, please feel free to cut/paste any of our more acerbic zingers into your own emails on this topic~ we know you're writing them too! 'Tis the season...)
And So It Begins....
From: Beth
Hi Jane ~
I was wondering if you have heard anything from your kids about what they would like to do about Christmas gift giving. I was going to send this out to all, but thought best of that thinking you and I should be the "decidinators" . .. What do you think should be the protocol for gifts-giving this year? Or should we not do gifts and just treat Christmas as a great time to get together and share our time - kinda like thanksgiving, but on Dec, 25th? Let's keep an open dialogue...
On Nov 26, 2011, at 12:51 PM, Beth wrote:
Hi Everyone ~
Does ANYONE have any ideas/thoughts on Christmas gift giving this year? Should we forgo gifts altogether and and just spend time together? I am at a loss . . .Hugs and love to all,Crazy Beth
A TIME FOR NEW TRADITIONS?
OK, sorry I didn't get back to you right away Beth. What I honestly think about Christmas, is it's nice to give at least one gift to each other, (did i really say that???) whether it be big or small, and that really doesn't matter because it's just an expression of love in the giving itself, not the size of the gift (even if it's zero size, i think i meant to say!). Everyone has different financial constraints. Whether the giver is an individual or a family, that doesn't matter either. But I personally don't think I could handle a Christmas without the ritual of gifts, unwrapping, and pets sitting in all the paper and ribbon mess.
However, having said that, I personally don't need anything, and would be most happy to follow the basic tenets of the "new American Christmas" tradition (attached below for the edification of those unfamiliar with it!). And I think I'll give along those lines too ... (except for those gifts I already have from "other" places :) ...
At this point I think we may be having the company of one extra person for Christmas, Cari, dear friend, and daughter of dear friends in Phoenix (her dad was who i went to see just before he passed away about 3 years ago, if you remember that trip i made). Do you think you could handle an extra at your house? I will provide appropriately. If not, then she'll just have to sit up at our house while we're at yours.
Sorry if my views are disagreeable with everyone else, but you asked. Hopefully I wont be the only one to weigh in now ... HINT HINT!
love, jane xx
From: Jenna
i would not be upset if there were no gifts (except for the little ones of course). Alex will be joining me.... we just like sitting by the fire and eating with everyone :)
On Nov 27, 2011, at 9:35 PM, Aubrey wrote:
Wellll, since we are being honest, everyone knows that I am a Scroogey anti-Christmas gift proponent, and our family is amply blessed, and while I love everyone sincerely, I do not necessarily believe that presents given equals or even approximates an expression of love.
Anti-gifting point 1: I find it hard to come up with personal, meaningful gifts--expensive or otherwise--when we really don't know that much about each others' wants and/or needs... This is why we, at least, usually end up doing silly, junky Chinese gifts---remember the bacon strip band-aids anyone?
Anti-gifting point 2: For me, the expression of love is in choosing to spend the holiday in each others' company....eating good food, watching silly movies, and the like are "Christmas" to me.
So, being that we really and truly don't know each other that well, I propose (A) a practical handmade gift exchange. This would fit the "American-made Christmas" facet (which I think is awesome) and be budget friendly (because, yes, some of us are definitely definitely on a budget!) and actually show genuine love and care for the recipient of the gift. (As one of Brooke's books says, "Where is love, Biscuit?' "It's in the soft sweaters Grandma knits especially for us...") Or, I propose (B) a charitable gift or contribution in the honor of gift recipient.
I don't know why, really, we do this email discussion every year, because each of our feelings are essentially the same from year to year, and everyone pretty much does whatever they feel like doing anyway. I mean this: I don't need anything for Christmas and I can't even think of anything I want for Christmas (except for to stop having this repetitive annual email conversation). I am disgusted by the consumerism surrounding stupid Black Friday and the whole starts-in-November Christmas shopping season. People are starving! People are homeless! I would like to provide more groceries or clothing donations to local families through the office at Ore Valley or the church. I feel like a turd for even spending time talking about a gift exchange when I know that right here in York (not to mention the surrounding world) people are hungry and cold right this very second. It makes me feel dirty.
So, for me, no gifts please. Or if you feel you must, some boxed food items. Or, since I feel dirty, maybe some homemade soap. We could still wrap that stuff in paper and ribbons and thusly tick off the mess for dogs that feels like Christmas for Jane.
Aren't you glad you asked? ;-)
Love (and respect, even if that isn't coming across in my tirade),
Apparently Freaking Insane Aubrey
P.S. It should be noted that every God-blessed one of my families (remember, I go to Greg's mom's, Greg's dad's, Greg's grandma's, the Keffer grandparents, the Keffer parents, and the Yosts'...maybe Naylors?) is having a version of this same debate about gift-giving in a changing world and family climate... so I very well may be a LOT "over" it. Multiply holiday shopping list exponentially by 2 for Greg's mom-parents, 6 for Greg's dad-parents/family, 4 for Greg's grandma's pollyannas, 4 for Keffer grandparent pollyannas, 4 for Keffer parents, 8 for Yosts, plus our independent family Christmas, Naylor stocking stuffers times 20 (maybe?). Sorry for bitching, but bitch or no bitch, the above is my uncensored opinion.
From: Aubrey
I have an instantaneous bout of sender's remorse. I know that that was bitchy. I stand by what I said, but I also want to say: I really do love you all, and if I won the lottery, I would buy a bunch of food for the food pantry AND really amazing presents that you guys would genuinely want! As it is here in reality, in lieu of the usual Chinese junk that I usually buy to make you laugh, you will probably be receiving a gift that I handmake just for you with love (like the Grandma in the Biscuit book that Brooke loves). Boy, I do hope you guys like felted soaps!! Last thing: even though I don't love the gift tradition, I do really love YOU all, and I am very happy to spend Christmas as we do.
So, as the Jamaicans say, "respect mon, all 'de time."
On Nov 27, 2011, at 11:08 PM, Jane wrote:
LOL! Shame on me! I must be the most self-centered person in the world! Not ..... but Aubrey, we definitely come from opposite sides of the fence ... you've got all those families, and all my families are back in Australia. I guess i like giving at Christmas because it reminds me of what we all did back "home" (minus swimming in the pool after Xmas lunch of course), and ... because i hardly have anyone here to give anything to. Granted it's therefore much easier for me than for you ... well, as far as giving goes, that is.
This re-checking every year about what Christmas should look like is indeed a bit unnecessary ... so why don't we just leave it at give what you can, don't give what you can't, shake hands, kiss each other, enjoy dinner together, watch silly movies, get drunk, fall asleep, and so be it.
So here's to charity, silver nixleys, soaps, knits, golden wait-awhiles, laughter, love, dogs, and recycled paper. (yay! vindication at last!)
love you too.
jane.
On Nov 28, 2011, at 12:21 AM, Beth wrote:
Let it forever be closed from this day forward : Yost Family Christmas Gift Exchange shall be "do what you want/can/feel like!!"
THWACK!! Beth
On Nov 28, 2011, at 12:37 PM, Jane wrote:
Booya!
On Nov 28, 2011, at 11:05 AM, Skyler wrote:
I'm not sure 'Booya!' really fits that situation, deary...
I'm not sure 'Booya!' really fits that situation, deary...
From: Beth
What actually is "booya"?
On Nov 28, 2011, at 7:15 PM, Jane wrote:
I dunno, but it sounds great when you say it with gusto. Emphasize the B and the oo and say it as loud as possible ... it's fun! (Yeah Skyler, what DOES it mean, anyway?) Jane
It's more of an "IN YOUR FACE!" than anything. It would be appropriate if you were attempting to tell Aubrey "Take that, mofo!", but not if you were trying to say "Well that's the end of that conversation!" Oh, you oldies.
On Nov 28, 2011, at 6:33 PM, Aubrey wrote:
Now that we have a definition, I'm going to go ahead and decide not to take it as a "take that, mofo" but more of a "well, now that we are all still completely unclear on that and deciding to agree to disagree...TADA!" I like Crazy Beth's plan to just do whatever the hell we feel like doing every year since that seems to be what we always do anyway.
Love to all,
A.
On Nov 28, 2011, at 6:50 PM, Jane wrote:
Oh, no ... There was definitely no mofo-ing in my booya. It was more meant as a "well so be it!" or "great! We've found a solution!"
you youngies are always changing the traditiinal meaning of older words, so why can't us oldies change the (ha ha traditional) meaning of new words (that have no apparent connection with any other known word in the language)? Booya!
On Nov 29, 2011, at 10:31 AM, Jenna wrote:
Ahem, I would like to clarify the booya/booyow thing. In America, it is just a silly word for "wham!," "that's right!," or even "in your face mofo!"
But in china, it is actually the word you say to pesky vendors who are desperate for a sale (which is all of them) that means, "I don't want it." Try it out sometime in a chinatown somewhere. They will both get the picture and be stunned that you spoke Chinese :)
Moral of the story: let's all say booyow to Chinese gifts and hello to the inappropriate Christmas movie of the year. Ideas anyone?
Love, Jenna
Life-Affirming Dream
Merry Christmas to me!
I just woke up from the most life-affirming dream! Maybe I've been watching too much holiday-themed Lifetime television for women, but...in my dream sequence...
I was sitting at a happy gathering of all of my family members, maybe a holiday party or a birthday party. Greg and our kids were there, as were my in-laws, and (wait for it!) so were my "new" dream mother- and sister-in-law.
Apparently, all four of my parents had cohesively arranged a new marriage for me--honestly, the one I kind of always expected myself to have in my deepest inner conscience, if I'm being totally honest.
The dream mother- and sister-in-law were impeccably dresssed and well-mannered and friendly enough, interacting, if minimally, with my strange (real-life) family. (No offense!) I recall the dream mother-in-law watching Grandma Becky cuddle Brooke and saying, "The children do like to be touched a lot. It's a good thing that you'll only be a few hours away from your family."
It seemed that I had been re-married off to some "J-named" (fuzzy on the details there) husband who was handsome and successful (according to dream in-laws, but too busy to come and pick me and the kids up). My parents were accepting of this arrangement, although they were sad that the girls and I would be moving away. It was, after all, the situation they had always imagined for me.
The dream in-laws and the real-life family members and I looked over paperwork about the dream house that we'd be moving into with dream future husband. It was magnificent, water-front (I think on a tributary river to the Bay), and had a $10,000 master suite with black-out curtains. I know this because the dream family's realtor was, for some reason, on hand to discuss the details of the house with all of us. Greg and I linked hands as we watched this presentation, as if even he, too, supported this move.
I would be allowed to see Greg when I wanted to, and he'd be able to visit the kids. I remember feeling relieved that I'd still be able to know him (and to love him), although I feared that he'd eventually move on and fall in love with someone else...as I knew he had the right to do. And I felt guilty about divorcing again and then being unfaithful to dream future husband--even if he knew about it and pre-approved the situation.
Dream mother-in-law handed me a folded up paper with my dream new married name on it, "Aubrey Something-Starting-With-A-'D.'" It was a volunteer sign-up sheet, and I'd been signed up to make banana nut muffins for some future charitable event. I felt a vague sense of confidence, as I knew that I can make banana nut muffins well; I could make my dream family proud. Greg always liked my banana nut muffins...
(Gnawing sense of despair.) And then I woke up with a headache and a churning stomach.
Why am I happy with this dream/nightmare? Because it has been re-affirmed that I'm where I should be! Even if it's not where I thought I'd be--or where my parents might have put me if they'd had been in control of my destiny--even if it's not in a water-front mansion with a mega-rich family and a hot-shot businessman husband--I'm where I belong. I'm in the home of my heart's desire, with the imperfect, wonderful man of my literal dreams.
In the face of being given the choice to transport myself and my girls (with everyone's blessing, including Greg's and without even having to give him up entirely) into my subconscious' reckoning of the PERFECT life of over-the-top luxury, absolutely no worries, and--my Achille's heel--complete parental approval, I was sickened. I dreaded leaving my marriage with Greg.
This may be a dramatic oversharing. You may feel sad that I react so happily to this kind-of random form of affirmation. But marriage is hard. I don't necessarily feel every day that our marriage is ideal. Sometimes I wonder... ***especially after a night with the in-laws that involved them being two hours late*** And, I am always ultimately reminded that this is meant to be. Not meant to be perfect. But it's meant to be mine.
And that is what it's all about, isn't it?
I just woke up from the most life-affirming dream! Maybe I've been watching too much holiday-themed Lifetime television for women, but...in my dream sequence...
I was sitting at a happy gathering of all of my family members, maybe a holiday party or a birthday party. Greg and our kids were there, as were my in-laws, and (wait for it!) so were my "new" dream mother- and sister-in-law.
Apparently, all four of my parents had cohesively arranged a new marriage for me--honestly, the one I kind of always expected myself to have in my deepest inner conscience, if I'm being totally honest.
The dream mother- and sister-in-law were impeccably dresssed and well-mannered and friendly enough, interacting, if minimally, with my strange (real-life) family. (No offense!) I recall the dream mother-in-law watching Grandma Becky cuddle Brooke and saying, "The children do like to be touched a lot. It's a good thing that you'll only be a few hours away from your family."
It seemed that I had been re-married off to some "J-named" (fuzzy on the details there) husband who was handsome and successful (according to dream in-laws, but too busy to come and pick me and the kids up). My parents were accepting of this arrangement, although they were sad that the girls and I would be moving away. It was, after all, the situation they had always imagined for me.
The dream in-laws and the real-life family members and I looked over paperwork about the dream house that we'd be moving into with dream future husband. It was magnificent, water-front (I think on a tributary river to the Bay), and had a $10,000 master suite with black-out curtains. I know this because the dream family's realtor was, for some reason, on hand to discuss the details of the house with all of us. Greg and I linked hands as we watched this presentation, as if even he, too, supported this move.
I would be allowed to see Greg when I wanted to, and he'd be able to visit the kids. I remember feeling relieved that I'd still be able to know him (and to love him), although I feared that he'd eventually move on and fall in love with someone else...as I knew he had the right to do. And I felt guilty about divorcing again and then being unfaithful to dream future husband--even if he knew about it and pre-approved the situation.
Dream mother-in-law handed me a folded up paper with my dream new married name on it, "Aubrey Something-Starting-With-A-'D.'" It was a volunteer sign-up sheet, and I'd been signed up to make banana nut muffins for some future charitable event. I felt a vague sense of confidence, as I knew that I can make banana nut muffins well; I could make my dream family proud. Greg always liked my banana nut muffins...
(Gnawing sense of despair.) And then I woke up with a headache and a churning stomach.
Why am I happy with this dream/nightmare? Because it has been re-affirmed that I'm where I should be! Even if it's not where I thought I'd be--or where my parents might have put me if they'd had been in control of my destiny--even if it's not in a water-front mansion with a mega-rich family and a hot-shot businessman husband--I'm where I belong. I'm in the home of my heart's desire, with the imperfect, wonderful man of my literal dreams.
In the face of being given the choice to transport myself and my girls (with everyone's blessing, including Greg's and without even having to give him up entirely) into my subconscious' reckoning of the PERFECT life of over-the-top luxury, absolutely no worries, and--my Achille's heel--complete parental approval, I was sickened. I dreaded leaving my marriage with Greg.
This may be a dramatic oversharing. You may feel sad that I react so happily to this kind-of random form of affirmation. But marriage is hard. I don't necessarily feel every day that our marriage is ideal. Sometimes I wonder... ***especially after a night with the in-laws that involved them being two hours late*** And, I am always ultimately reminded that this is meant to be. Not meant to be perfect. But it's meant to be mine.
And that is what it's all about, isn't it?
Sunday, November 27, 2011
OMG! Someboday Stop Me-- I Am The Anti-Christmas-Gift B*tch
I just closed a email response to all of my family members with this:
"Love (and respect, even if it doesn't come across in this tirade),
Clearly Freaking Insane Aubrey"
Never good. Never good.
It was in response to a "Christmas 2011" (are-we-exchanging-gifts-this-year) email...that is a dead-ringer for the "Christmas 2010" one and the "Christmas 2009" one...ad nauseum. I'm not sure about your extended family, but here's the thing about ours, while we love each other and have a really nice time spending Christmas together, that's about the extent of our cuddly togetherness time. So it is really impossible to know what meaningful and useful item to give a person that you don't really know on a deeper-than-superficial-level.
If a gift isn't personal, I don't really get the point. Isn't it just a mindless, heartless exchange? (Been accused of that one in the past, too...) Various people in my various family groups love, love, love giving and receiving gifts. To them, that's Christmas: There is an expression of love in the act of giving--even if it is a random token gift...that's probably been made in China...and may or may not be bacon strip band-aids or fart-flavored tootpaste...
To me, and call me cheap or Scroogey if you must, but Christmas is about spending time with the ones that you love (the ones that you maybe don't get to spend enough time with the rest of the year) and, well, hello!, Christ. I love the decorations, the music, the food, the fireplace, and the movies. I do! I really love Christmas...the spirit of it, the stories that go along with it, and of course the traditions--with the marked exception of superfluous gift-giving for the sake of gift-giving.
Is anybody with me? Or do I stand alone in my disgust for Black Friday's consumer frenzy? Do I stand alone wishing that preparing for Christmas involved something more genuine than purchasing STUFF? I feel dirty making a "Christmas list" or shopping for trinkets when so many go hungry or are cold...or are lacking the most basic essentials. It feels so wrong to me.
And yet, I feel very much like "Clearly Freaking Insane Aubrey," as the rest of the world bustles past me with bags busting with stuff....like I'm the crazy one...
"Love (and respect, even if it doesn't come across in this tirade),
Clearly Freaking Insane Aubrey"
Never good. Never good.
It was in response to a "Christmas 2011" (are-we-exchanging-gifts-this-year) email...that is a dead-ringer for the "Christmas 2010" one and the "Christmas 2009" one...ad nauseum. I'm not sure about your extended family, but here's the thing about ours, while we love each other and have a really nice time spending Christmas together, that's about the extent of our cuddly togetherness time. So it is really impossible to know what meaningful and useful item to give a person that you don't really know on a deeper-than-superficial-level.
If a gift isn't personal, I don't really get the point. Isn't it just a mindless, heartless exchange? (Been accused of that one in the past, too...) Various people in my various family groups love, love, love giving and receiving gifts. To them, that's Christmas: There is an expression of love in the act of giving--even if it is a random token gift...that's probably been made in China...and may or may not be bacon strip band-aids or fart-flavored tootpaste...
To me, and call me cheap or Scroogey if you must, but Christmas is about spending time with the ones that you love (the ones that you maybe don't get to spend enough time with the rest of the year) and, well, hello!, Christ. I love the decorations, the music, the food, the fireplace, and the movies. I do! I really love Christmas...the spirit of it, the stories that go along with it, and of course the traditions--with the marked exception of superfluous gift-giving for the sake of gift-giving.
Is anybody with me? Or do I stand alone in my disgust for Black Friday's consumer frenzy? Do I stand alone wishing that preparing for Christmas involved something more genuine than purchasing STUFF? I feel dirty making a "Christmas list" or shopping for trinkets when so many go hungry or are cold...or are lacking the most basic essentials. It feels so wrong to me.
And yet, I feel very much like "Clearly Freaking Insane Aubrey," as the rest of the world bustles past me with bags busting with stuff....like I'm the crazy one...
Tuesday, November 1, 2011
I Have an Idea...Is it Stupid?
It is no secret that I spend a lot of time fantasizing about doing something (beyond my house) that is good and important and fulfilling and respectable and also gainful monetarily.
As soon as our house was painted, clean, and unpacked, I started looking for work-at-home opportunities again. It's an addiction.
I realized that I don't just want to do something that makes us some extra money...although some extra money would be really, really nice. It has to be something that is "overall good." (Darn it, that rules out street walking!) I want to do something that is enjoyable for me and also provides a benefit to others. Since I don't have the ability to do a large animal rescue (which would be the ultimate!) because of liability issues, I was thinking of helping other moms. Back to the "MOMGLOMERATE" ideal.
These are tough times for families...parents, children, pets...and we need to band together to make it through (and come out better for it!). I was thinking of some sort of "swap shop" where families can bring any sort of home goods that they aren't using or have outgrown and receive credits to shop for new things. Less consignment store and more not-for-profit in nature. It would be eco-friendly and community-friendly. If it had a sort of boutiquey, high-end feel, it would be a comfortable environment for any shopper.
Is this a stupid idealist sort of idea? Does it already exist? I do know that some women do clothing swaps with groups of friends a couple of times a year... Hmmmm.
As soon as our house was painted, clean, and unpacked, I started looking for work-at-home opportunities again. It's an addiction.
I realized that I don't just want to do something that makes us some extra money...although some extra money would be really, really nice. It has to be something that is "overall good." (Darn it, that rules out street walking!) I want to do something that is enjoyable for me and also provides a benefit to others. Since I don't have the ability to do a large animal rescue (which would be the ultimate!) because of liability issues, I was thinking of helping other moms. Back to the "MOMGLOMERATE" ideal.
These are tough times for families...parents, children, pets...and we need to band together to make it through (and come out better for it!). I was thinking of some sort of "swap shop" where families can bring any sort of home goods that they aren't using or have outgrown and receive credits to shop for new things. Less consignment store and more not-for-profit in nature. It would be eco-friendly and community-friendly. If it had a sort of boutiquey, high-end feel, it would be a comfortable environment for any shopper.
Is this a stupid idealist sort of idea? Does it already exist? I do know that some women do clothing swaps with groups of friends a couple of times a year... Hmmmm.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)